Although Storms Brew Within, Clear Skies Are Promised

Feelings . . Emotions . . Anger . . Relapse

Many of this life's challenges can be properly dealt with when one's emotions are kept in check.

We have feelings all the time and about everything.

Feelings are part of the human experience; the spiritual being living in a vessel of material.

Feelings are expressed largely rationally, yet for some they are constantly irrational.

The slippery slope gives way to words unsure, thoughts confused, actions questionable, a lifestyle depraved.

It is when our feelings get ahead of our thoughts and subsequent actions that storms clouds turn into hurricanes and destruction ensues.

Yet it is possible to 'see' the clouds as they form and make decisions before a storm develops.

Even in the midst of a storm, it is where our mind, heart, soul is (or has been)...and how we act and react, that depicts the outcome of one moment to another, possibly setting our life's trajectory in ways we may have never imagined for ourselves.

The Path following Christ should eventually reveal our human nature, our patterns and our character.

Our sin is made ever clearer the more we reflect on Christ.

His grace is ever present when reflecting on His Salvation despite our sinful nature.

Looking in the mirror is sobering and necessary to weather prediction.

For me personally, I have my moments of feelings influencing emotions that lead to anger and possible relapse - my particular human patterns of f.e.a.r..

Yours may be very different, slightly different, or very much the same as mine.

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in Him in accordance with the Truth that is in Yeshua. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. 

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

- Ephesians 4: 20-32

There are times I question openly sharing the challenges pressed upon my heart with others.

I wonder if sharing such madness would affect my wife.

There are things to be shared, and there are things to be dealt with between only you and the Lord.

It isn't a matter of openness with your body (your wife for the man, your husband for the woman), but about wisdom in unleashing a torrent of weight that is your cross to bear...and not theirs.

Your other half of the one (if you are married) has their unique burdens, thorns, and splintered cross to bear.

There are times, like this morning Saturday 6 January 2018, when I didn't feel like caring about anything.

I felt like caring less about what happens to others, and these feelings led me to have an emotion that included myself in the not caring.

Self destruction, a past thought and activity of mine that is common to many yet not always clearly understood.

It isn't that I do not love my wife, but I know from past experiences that if I do not heed my words, and simply allow my tongue to be loosened to the point of ranting, I may lose my senses and dishonor my Lord and God...and inflict major pain on my wife.

This is what prayer is for and why prayer exists.

It isn't so much the manner God is able to 'hear', but the exercise of us being humble...and humiliated, which is every human being's destiny.

It is best to choose humility, and immediate humiliation, than suffer humiliation on a Day when all things that should have been dealt with in prayer are revealed before all eyes and conscience to see.

With that, I also wonder if a tirade is what God needs to hear from me...and if it simply wouldn't be folly on my part to say much and release madness and nonsense that has welled up in me.

These moments arise because I have not wrestled with God in prayer...I have not chosen humility.

When these feelings overwhelm my emotional state, anger is not far behind.

And it is when this anger confuses the senses, beguiles the peaceful state of joy that has been firmly planted in my heart, where weeds can no longer grow, that reveals a possible drought of spiritual sorts.

This is when risk of relapse:

   a repeating of my character traits -

     my human patterns

       my sin 

     my unique nature manifested in a fallen world 

   conformed by personal carelessness

     that is solely responsible for bringing trouble upon myself 

       and to those nearest me. 

         Yet God is forever glorified as the Holy One revealed from Above 

       and by His grace I am revealed to be . . . His possession

     at times a rebellious and arrogant child 

   at times a sorrow-filled and selfish brat 

     but always a son recognizing Him for the Who He is -

       the Father of a grace-gifted son

         the loving Father that has already brought me through the worst of situations... 

   my deserved eternal death sentence.

Praised be Your Most Holy and High Name Yeshua!

All glory and honor is Yours!

Thank You for Your eternal forgiveness, Your grace, Your Sacrifice, Your Love.