|Absorbing The Verbal Spats Against You|
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
- Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8As I see and understand Christ, some of the above 'times' are to be the effort and purpose of one's heart when working to keep relationships that are NOT forbidden, while other 'times' are occurrences that happen despite God's love being revealed from Above in Yeshua Christ... for not all men yet submit to God in Christ.
Some 'times' have been confused as one for another.
It doesn't feel good when people hate you or dislike you for no logical reason.
Not saying it feels good for knowing 'why' someone may not like you, but opposition is painful, at least it is to me.
I guess in the mind or heart it makes sense to dislike someone for reasons made reasonable.
I have my times of struggle where my heart is tempted to grow cold towards someone.
Something they said, or did to me... or towards / about someone else.
It may take time... sometimes months or years, for the heart and mind to realize reconciliation in moving past the emotions and hurt feelings.
It doesn't have to take so long, but when a memory is rekindled, the thoughts that come across the heart and mind is a 'tell' that signals whether or not peace has filled the place where pain previously resided.
If we look at our collective humanity, rather than separating our typically ignored oneness, reason would conclude that reconciliation should always be the rule, not the exception.
And this resolution should be the aim regardless if forgiveness was asked from the injuring party.
The times I had said or done something to another person, relative or friend, no amount of “I'm sorry” would return their demeanor to what it was prior to the incident / insult.
I had to wait patiently... and sadly for some individuals, all the time allotted to creation will run out before they'll arrive at forgiveness in their heart.
This reality is something that pains me to accept, but such is the order we see in life's experience.
This too has its purpose.
For those in search of Love and peace, the effort is always to forgive others regardless of what they do.
This is why people resist to speak about religion, politics and money in public settings, for the ideas and mindsets within these subjects fix the mind and heart into ways unloving and foreign to God's grace.
What is also avoided is speaking one's honest heart regarding any given topic, controversial or not... because of people's inability to look beyond themselves or their religious, political, social programming.
One can never guess where another person's mind and heart is at any given moment.
Recently having a virtual discussion (online) with a 'friend' I actually know in person and see regularly throughout any given week, it seems we couldn't have an amicable and respectful discussion as in times past.
I could tell by their words they had more emotion invested into the discussion than in previous times, and this wasn't their typical demeanor.
And the fallout is being felt now in my heart as they ignore me in person.
Sadly, people quickly abandon a friendship over a trivial debate.
I did make the effort to move past whatever difference of opinion we had, but damage seems to have been done although I only spoke to the subject matter.
It only takes a single spark to get one's mind racing to see all the other issues that were previously insignificant, now looking like a pile of reasons to disassociate with the person.
Platonic or shallow relationships do not have to be like this, but we see this slash and burn mentality all around us.
It is found in history books, military science, generational tribal disputes, religious factions, political ideologies, dysfunctional families and casual relationships.
Imagine a world where every person you ever met, from the earliest ages up until Today, never became an 'enemy' or adversary.
Not that it is possible to stay in touch with the hundreds or thousands of people one may come across in a lifetime, but it could be possible to stay at peace and, if providence allows, to run into someone and not have hard feelings towards one another.
But it seems some people never learned how to forgive growing up, or were never taught to work things out regardless of what occurred or who was injured.
Perhaps these ideals were taught or learned, but the heart's hardness dictates what choices the mind makes.
Spite, hate and vengeance is the typical pattern of this world.
Any pattern can be broken and replaced with another pattern.
Compassion, consideration, love and forgiveness are the fruits of weathering the droughts, floods, storms and working out the thorns from your life... thorns that prevent you from growing.
There is a reason times come and go, and there is a purpose behind staying loving and open to those who reject you when the calling from Above is to lay one's life down as an example of obedience.