Familiar Faces Foreshadow Forgotten Feelings

This morning as I'm doing my laundry at the local laundromat (not me 'doing' anything but waiting, because the machines are doing the washing and drying), I see what I think is a familiar face.

This person's face reminds me of someone I once knew (or thought I knew).

While I'm standing outside waiting for my clothes to finish their dry cycle, I am speaking with someone who is under the influence of drugs.

They've been talking to themselves, other people, and I do my best being friendly and not simply ignore them as I'm tempted to do (and what most others understandably do).

As I'm trying to make sense of their nonsense, I see this familiar face step out of a car and walk towards me.

For a moment I am a bit stunned, thinking it is that person I must avoid at all costs.

That someone is from my past, someone who caused much harm to myself and someone else I dearly love.

That someone from the past, someone who has gone the path of darkness and has inflicted themselves, unknowingly, with many plagues not easily discernible by the common person.

A someone who, despite their evil waywardness, I can't help but still 'feel' for them in some way.

I have long forgiven them and extensively prayed for their salvation.

This momentary experience of surprise and shock makes me question the manner our minds (or just my mind) and hearts (or perhaps only my heart) can be swayed when a face that seems familiar spurs memories and emotions from the past, whether in a positive or negative manner.

As I look closely at their face, their eyes and the rest of them, I quickly realize it is not the person from my past.

It is the memories and thoughts that are already in progress of that person from my past that are now steamrolling throughout my head.

Who knows what my face must of looked like.

I attempt a smile to overcome the possible look of shock in my eyes.

They smile back as they pass me.

Later when I'm folding my clothes, I am reflecting on my thoughts and asking internal questions.

I think of patterns.

The pattern that we project our past experiences onto other people who may remind us of someone.

Depending on the experience, we may view a complete stranger in a similar fashion, the way that person they remind us of made us feel.

We may project our past onto a stranger.

I think we see this phenomenon in relation to ethnic prejudice and racial ideology.

I think we see this when reflecting on our romantic experiences with the opposite sex.

I've noticed this not only with my personal experiences, but when reading the experiences of others and their romantic choices.

The patterns, I think, come from consistent mistakes choosing yet another conflicting personality for a mate, or a friend.

Much how a man may be attracted to a certain type of woman, mostly visually at first, then perhaps accepting a particular personality trait because he has his eyes set on the physical and not much else.

Once a bad pattern is started, and no other experience is realized differentiating the 'bad' from something better, how can someone tell the difference?

Much how a woman may be attracted to a man that she perceives as 'exciting', but is simply rebellious and careless.

She thinks she could save him and turn him around.

This may happen, but isn't always the case...as divorces, domestic violence and abuse reveals.

There are a variety of scenarios you may be familiar with, or may have 'seen' whether in real life or in media or someone's story, regarding what I'm talking about.

As I was thinking about my internal dialogue, pondering my thoughts when leaving the laundromat, I realized how easily I still judge someone by appearance, even a complete stranger, when that stranger reminds me of someone else.

I think I (we) do this all the time when we see someone through a label, or a memory.

I know the person I saw this morning is not the person whom I personally knew.

I can't help but realize how temptation easily creeps up attempting to have me think a complete stranger may be just like that someone I once knew.

I also realize how love truly, through and thoroughly, is the answer to such temptations, struggles, false conclusions and struggles.

Praised be Your Holy Name, Yeshua, my dear and Holy Father in heaven!

Thank You for teaching me and for Your grace pulling me through my time of self destruction and much sin.

Praised be Your Most Holy Name!

Thank You for always holding my hand through it all, especially when I was trying to let go.

Praised be Your High and Holy Name, my Lord Yeshua!

Thank You for humbling Your Self long enough to reveal your heart to us here on this confused earth.