The Cat Wars of 2017

Colonel Catnip occupying his post until his relief, Captain Cat-Scratch, relieves him.

Almost every day I hear cats fighting.

It seems with every new neighbor that moves into the neighborhood, they bring one or more feline friend.

There are easily ten outdoor cats on the street I live on.

It is a fairly short street.

Eleven lots per side.

So, I assume, every time a new outdoor kitty moves in, territory claims are disputed.

These cats act no better than punk thug gangsters.

They have no respect for others with their drive by cat-scratch fighting.

No regard for their noise pollution.

The cats that have lived here the longest keep to their respective yards, rarely leaving the bounds of their lot's footprint.

But some of these new furry pawed felines encroach on ancient territories, even eating from the bowls of their native neighbors.

They disregard the time of day or night.

When bent on ruckus, no mere human can distract these strolling fur balls from their prideful pursuit of one another.

There is no better time, day or night, but 'all the time' for these gangster cats to intimidate and scream at one another.

Outside of the occasional human thief breaking and entering, or gangster gunshots in the distant (or just around the corner), or the police helicopter flying overheard too low, there is little to hinder the relative peace.

And the kinds of screaming are not always the same.

There is that long cry that sounds too similar to an infant's crying.

Then there is the higher pitched angst that is usually quite pronounced and come in between that long baby's cry.

These short bursts precipitate physical contact.

There's the low growl; guttural and gruesome...I would guess like the sound of something possessed.

Whichever the sound, the onlookers from their windows sometimes get involved.

The indoor cats usually watch in jealous silence, while boisterous dogs howl and bark in wishing to get involved.

Recently, I witnessed something quite extraordinary that impressed me...and somewhat subsided by measured contempt for these disturbances.

Overlooking my next door neighbor's front yard, I see a cat making its way south...and then immediately stops.

Coming towards their way is a northbound cat.

The southbound cat begins to slowly turn around, but now crouched near to the ground, practically dragging itself along.

Perhaps a sign of submission and evasion, I'm not too sure.

The northbound kitty is now in pursuit, but at a quicker pace.

When the pursuer is maybe five cat lengths behind the evader, the evader turns and notices, giving out a very quiet yet elapsed growl.

They're turned half way and their tail is raised and has blossomed.

The pursuer calmly stops...takes a seat, and looks away slowly...seemingly acting like there is nothing going on.

This pause goes on for about a minute.

Eventually, the evader slowly turns around and, even closer to the ground and slower, begins their near crawl away.

The pursuer doesn't waste any time.

Instead of continuing a direct pursuit, the stalker instead makes a swift impulse for the porch.

The porch is raised and runs alongside the front of the house.

It's one of those Craftsman homes.

This pursuing cat jumps up onto the porch from one side, and speedily jets across to the other side!

The evading cat is completely unaware of who is awaiting them at the other end.

Interestingly enough, the evading cat's heading meets right at the very corner of the porch where his smart nemesis is waiting.

I am laughing at this point, very surprised and well impressed.

The evading cat arrives at the corner, pauses to turn around to check and see if the coast is clear...and it is.

They don't seem to see the other cat, and sit for a second seemingly quite relieved.

This relief is short lived.

Moments later they notice (or feel) someone looking down at them.

A few more moments of tense standoff and more low growls and tail puffery from the victim cat.

Eventually, two neighbors come out to break it up...a woman spraying a jet stream of water, and a man making all kinds of noise.

But these battle-ready cats are not easily phased; they could care less.

Much more seems to be at stake that annoyed human beings.

These humans are merely bothersome intruders to their eventual engagement of force...if not now, surely much later that same day...or night, when we are all sound asleep.

I'm sure it was these same two critters I heard at three the next morning, scaring me from my sleep...after what I thought was another infant crying outside my window.