|From Left to Right: Oldest Sister, Me, Older Sister, My Mother: Maria|
I didn't want to believe what I was seeing, experiencing, realizing, facing.
When you see someone who loved you more than they loved themselves coming to the end of their time on earth, you can't help but not want to see them go.
Years ago I saw a fuzzy notion that my mom may eventually pass away from her ailment... sooner than what is popularly expected.
And when that time had come, and became “now”, my mind did not want to accept it.
My mind's lapse into denial caused my heart to sway.
What was evident for some time, now I wanted to push away.
My mother loved traveling.
She made traveling a priority for my siblings and myself early on.
We would see much more of the world than the peers we grew up with in the neighborhood and the kids we went to school with.
We were not rich; my mom was frugal in her spending throughout the year, saving up for a yearly trip.
For her children.
This theme is constant in my mind when reflecting on my mother and what she did for me.
I remember, as a young man seeking the Way to God, asking her some very personal and revealing questions.
I wanted to know 'who' my mother was.
My dad had divorced her in 1989, yet his fidelity for her had diminished many years prior to that year.
I asked some questions that some mothers wouldn't dare answer, let alone share with a child.
But my mother trusted me... as I did her.
And the times I disappointed her would cut me like a rusty sword... but not always.
Yet, when my arrogance and pride would subside, I surely would remember how my mother did her very best in raising me to the best of her abilities, and she desired nothing but the best for me.
And when I didn't attempt the best for myself, she would share her thoughts ;)
My mother honored her mother and father... to a fault some may say.
She abandoned her life for the sake of providing support to theirs in their last days on earth.
So it is no surprise to me how God's timing has been revealed.
My maternal grandmother preceded my mother by almost two months.
Years had already passed since they saw one another face to face, my mother having moved out of state to be cared for herself.
But, they both now have that joy returned to them, for now they see themselves face to face, but not as before.
They also now are seeing the Face all people will face.
Some desire greatly to see this Face, while some others fear to see, yet we shall all have a glimpse or an eternal pleasure in seeing sooner or later.
Thank you Holy Father for your love through my maternal grandmother Edelmira (Mima), who was very much more than a surrogate mother to me.
Thank you Holy Father for your love through my mother Maria, who also forwarded qualities of Christ... qualities which challenge me in imitating.
But in obedience to You, as the examples of obedience I witnessed in both of these mothers of mine, perhaps I too may learn obedience, faith and service.
The living can see and hear us, those who are alive in Christ though their flesh having expired.
These two are Today included in the “cloud of witnesses.”
So I say:
Hola mis queridas!
Eternal blessings are yours!
I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois [Edelmira] and in your mother Eunice [Maria] and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.
- 2 Timothy 1: 5