Learning From Children While Speaking To Them In Purity

Have you heard about how “the apple does not fall far from the tree”?

This is an idiom that speaks about one thing while explaining another.

When thinking about how a child is a reflection of their parent(s) and the environment they grew up in, this short phrase speaks volumes.

Recently I heard a little girl, maybe two or three years of age, begin crying and yell at her mother saying "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you..."

It broke my heart... and my mind immediately thought 'from where did this child hear and learn to imitate such a phrase?'

The matter sparking this outburst was quite insignificant from an adult's point of view - the child was not getting her way in being allowed to play with something.

It was during a funeral, and a child's patience is apt to run quite short.

It was a hot and long day.

The denial of something to play with quickly became an emotional explosion of tears and this strong phrase.

I thought which of the two parents did this child hear this?

Or from which of the older siblings?

Or was it from a television program or a movie?

Or was it a neighbor?

From where?.. for I reasoned such a thing unlikely originated from the child.

We can sometimes tell when a child forms parts of original thoughts and original sentences when they ask questions or talk about some things.

Some words and phrases, however, I don't think originate from within a child... but likely originate and are learned from without... from an adult or another child or another source.

Perhaps my mind is a bit too judgmental, or I'm trying too hard to guess at the origins of such things.

But the moment I heard that child's cries I couldn't help but also hear those words having previously echoed somewhere before.

Possibly in the home as one parent yelled it at the other parent.

It is that echo and the specific event where that phrase was heard that is likely now etched in that child's mind as a choice response to having a certain agitated feelings... or how to respond to something disliked and unwanted.

Lessons are learned, and whether they are good or bad is later determined.

Choice comes into play.

I think such things are held in the recesses of the mind and are there waiting to be used when certain emotions 'allow' or are justified in choosing to spill out certain words and phrases.

Something triggers feelings of anger, hate, dislike, etc., and word choices are made from the storehouse of a particular vocabulary.

My default position when it comes to any single word or phrases of words is simple: a 'bad' word is not developed by someone on their own.

A bad word is initially heard, and at some time it is designated as 'bad' according to context, use, situation, etc..

Words are very powerful.

By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. 

- Hebrews 11: 3

According to one's view of the world and understanding of life, words may be the most powerful 'thing' the human will ever know first-hand.

Children are continuously learning, and their learning is not something they make a conscious effort towards in most cases.

The human being is consistently learning, regardless of the choice a human may make regarding learning something or anything.

People are imitators by nature.

Thus the responsibility an adult has over (or when around) a child, whether that child is the parent's child or of someone else, is of the utmost importance.

This important responsibility is at times dismissed as time goes by by both parent and passive adult alike, I think.

But we can see its vital importance in how our hearts and minds respond to a child's thoughts and actions... reflecting this teaching from Above:

At that time the disciples came to Yeshua and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 

He called a little child to Him, and placed the child among them. And He said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in My Name welcomes Me. If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in Me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter Life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. 

- Matthew 18: 1-9

The power of words, and our correlated responsibility in our choice of words, how we use words, and what is heard and learned by hearers, even the children we are tasked with raising up in the Lord, is explained here:

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. 

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. 

- James 3: 1-12

Speak in love to one another... especially the children who will become tomorrow's adults and who will forward your words and manners to the next generation.