Excuses Easily Justified

The other day on my visit to my elderly grandmothers at their elderly care facilities, something struck me to the core.  I overheard a woman crying on the phone with someone.  She was asking them whey she was in that facility. 

Prior to this, I walked into my grandmother’s room and saw this woman eating her dinner-time meal.  She asked me if it was breakfast or dinner.  She said this because she couldn’t tell due to the food being soggy and having the texture of over-easy eggs and not the pasta salad it was.  I did my best responding with a smile and saying that it was dinner. 

I was sitting with my grandmother when I happen to hear this woman speak with someone who had just called on the phone.  I began to think of the reasons why both my grandmothers are in such a place.  I thought about the financial issue.  I then considered the care issue.  I also considered how everyone is ‘living’ their lives and how today, looking after the elderly has been sub-contracted out to others; it is a multi-billion dollar industry.

I further thought about the excuses both I and my relatives have made regarding our 95 year-old loved ones.  ‘Living your life’ was one of them in reference to me when I still lived with my maternal grandmother.  ‘Professional care’ was another one.  But the underlying reason no one mentioned was selfishness.  Another term was inconvenience.  Yet, because it is a business and doctor’s recommendations are considered gospel, the individual conscience desensitizes itself when leaving their loved ones in the care of strangers.  Folks seem consumed by their pursuits, not able to look after the elderly.  Perhaps it’s fear that the mortgage won’t be met and their Amerikan dream may take a detour.