The carnal mind sees something and desires to physically take hold of it; men battling over land, power, women, wealth, etc..
The spiritual mind wonders why that desire is occurring.
It measures the heart in valuing what the eye sees.
It considers what must change to gain what is seen.
It also submits to that desire's unavailability.
When I was a single man, I would sometimes get jealous seeing a man and woman together.
Depending on my heart's condition and emotions, my mind might consider and desire that woman.
Two things would pass through my mind, among other things I won't mention:
I wanted to remove that man; be in that man's shoes.
I wondered how I can steal that woman from him.
I literally wanted to make her fall in love with me.
I realized later it was the situation between them, the relationship, which my heart yearned for, not any woman specifically.
I could only focus on what I was physically seeing and physically lonely for.
I pondered that perhaps the type of vehicle I drive, the clothes I wear, the attitude I projected would attract what I wanted.
But since these are superficial efforts, they would attract superficial situations.
If one only makes exterior adjustments without working on what actually keeps a relationship thriving, one shouldn't wonder why so many broken people, hearts and homes exist.
The outer and inner transformation comes hand in hand.
Haven't we all seen people become ultra religious, changing their hair (facial or head), their clothes, their speech patterns, only to reveal by their words and actions what is really stirring inside their hearts?
Haven't we also done this?
Our human effort is changing the obvious things (those exterior, the physical).
God's purpose is renewing our hearts.
Let Him transform your heart.